Darkness and Sorrow
by WolfSoul7
Summary: SPOILER WARNING! Members of Akatsuki think about their lives. Pretty angst and sad stuff about those poor unfortunate souls who still were/are breathing and feeling creatures like you and me. I felt so sorry for some of them that I made these...
1. The Eyes

**Darkness and Sorrow**

Members of Akatsuki think about their lives. Pretty angst and sad stuff about those poor unfortunate souls who still were/are breathing and feeling creatures like you and me. I felt so sorry for some of them that I made these. Try to guess who from Akatsuki is talking in each chapter! Rated T because of Hidans language. **I don't own Naruto, these characters or songs!**

**The Eyes**

He can't move. He's out of chacra. He just stands there and stares at me. His eyes are full of fear. Fear and hate. I can see it clearly. He fears and hates me more than anything else. I can't blame him. I am a monster after all.

I approach him. My body hurts. Everything is blurry. It's getting dark too. So, he was finally strong enough to kill me… He has grown to such a great ninja…

I stop right in front of him and look him in the eye. Suddenly I want to tell him everything. The truth about our clans death and the real reason why I didn't kill him like everyone else. But I know it's too late. My own blood coloured journey has finally come to an end. My own last wish is, and has always been, that he'll be fine. If things just would have gone the other way…

For some reason I now remember those times I premised to help him with his training. I never did. I just asked him to forgive me and wait for the next time. How foolish.

I gently poke him to the forehead. He looks so surprised… I can't help it. I smile (How long has it been since I was able to do that?). It's so dark but I still can see his face this one last time. I'm… happy.

A small scarlet blood drop runs from my fingers down his face. And the last thing that I ever said to him, I said to him with a honest smile.

"Forgive me, Sasuke. There is no next time".

I'm sorry that I never could tell how much I loved you, my little brother.

* * *

_Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?_

_Can't tell the reasons I did it for you_

_When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you_

_You say that I'm frozen but what can I do?_

_- Within Temptation, "Frozen"_


	2. The Silence

**Darkness and Sorrow**

The second chapter is here! **I don't own Naruto, these characters or songs!**

**The Silence**

I've completely lost my sense of time, damn it! I don't have a bloody idea how freaking long I've been here. Maybe weeks. Or months. Or even years… Too fucking long anyway!

Shit. I can't see a thing. It's so fucking dark! And quiet. Bloody hell, I hate silence… I can't even move a fucking muscle.

Where are those bastards? They know fucking well that I can't die. So why don't they come and fucking help me out of here?! I've asked, shouted, cursed, begged, screamed, cried, ever prayed! But no one has come. Even Kakuzu just abandoned me! That son of a bitch! Or maybe he's dead. Maybe they're all dead already. Those lucky bastards…

I feel like choking all the time. It hurts like hell! All the fucking time I feel like dying and I can do nothing about it! I don't even remember how it feels to be alive anymore! I loved that feeling so fucking much… Am I never able to feel alive again?

Shit. It hurts. It's dark. And so fucking quiet! Like in a grave. This… This is not fair! I just want to live! Just please let me fucking out of here! Kakuzu! Leader-sama! Anyone!

Silence. This same fucking silence! Damn it!

Something wet runs down my face. It won't stop. I feel so bad. So fucking bad… No one can hear my sobbing, or hear my desperate scream, or see my tears. Shit! I'm so fucking… pathetic.

* * *

_Sensation washes over me  
I can't describe it  
Pain I felt so long ago  
I don't remember  
Tear a hole so I can see  
My devastation  
Feelings from so long ago  
I don't remember_

_- Disturbed, "Remember"_


	3. The Night

**Darkness and Sorrow**

The third chapter. I'm sorry that it's this short but I hope you enjoy anyway! This is a bit late also but** _Happy Halloween! ^^_**

**The Night**

It's a bright night.

Funny thing. The last time I paid attention to such a thing, it was Itachi-san who said it. I don't know why commented about it back then. Maybe it was a bright night when he killed his entire clan. I don't know. And I don't really care. He never talked about it and I never asked. Since he didn't ask about my past either. Fair enough.

We got along pretty well. We worked well together and ever though Itachi-san, as the stronger one, was some kind of a boss, he never looked down on me. We were a good team.

I'm not sad about his death. He was just my partner on our missions that we did for this organisation. Nothing more. But I still have to admit I respected him as a ninja. We also had a lot of fun fights and travelling hours together. Sometimes… I even felt that I actually had a friend…

Stupid.

* * *

_Crowded streets all cleared away  
One by One  
Hollow heroes separate  
As they run_

You're so cold  
Keep your hand in mine  
Wise men wonder while  
Strong men die

_- Breaking Benjamin, "So Cold"  
_


	4. The Life

**Darkness and Sorrow**

It was very hard to me to write this but it's finally ready. I'm sorry if I didn't put those 'un's into right places... (And sorry for that these chapters are so short. I know you people hate them but I have my reasons to make them like this.) Enjoy the chapter number four. Please, review! ^^

**The Life**

I never thought that I'd have to use self destruction against Itachi's brother. I really wanted to use this ultimate masterpiece against that cool-acting, emotionless, arrogant bastard himself. Un. At least I put some reaction in those goddamned eyes! Now he just can't ignore my art anymore, un!

But I just don't get one thing… Why no one ever even tried to understand? Neither my art nor me, un. Everyone calls me a freak but what can I do? I was born with this gift, un! It's my destiny and way of life. It's a part of my body. My soul. My heart. It's the thing I can do best and the thing I love, un. And still… they keep calling me a freak and ignoring the thing that's the most important to me. Un.

Everyone just keep talking about never-ending things, un. Sasori-no-danna treasured eternal art. Orochimaru created a technique that allows him to life forever. And Hidan is immortal, un. Everyone are trying to reach eternal life and I don't know why, un. Isn't life beautiful just because it's so short and delicate? But they don't understand, even though it IS the nature of life, un.

It's almost ready. Very soon I'll turn into a piece of art. Though… I'm a bit sad, un. I'd really have liked to beat Itachi before I die. But it can't be helped, un. I'm going to die anyway, sooner or later. At least I could choose the way I end my lonely life. There wouldn't be a better way than this, un. Putting some emotion in those blank eyes of his, making him realize the true meaning of life! Un! I'm sorry, Tobi…

Art is a blast. One wonderful moment before everything is over. Life is a blast. It's just one short flash and death comes sooner than one thinks. And so… Life… is art. Un.

* * *

_The thing I treasure most in life cannot be taken away  
There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice  
To change myself, I'd rather die  
Though they will not understand  
I won't make the greatest sacrifice  
You can't predict where the outcome lies  
You'll never take me alive_

_- Disturbed, "I'm Alive"_


	5. The Bird

**Darkness and Sorrow**

Sorry that I made you wait. I've been very busy lately but now the new chapter is here. Reviews are wormly welcome! Enjoy! ^^

**The Bird**

I see a large field of flowers. White flowers. They all look so beautiful but I know the truth and it makes them seem really ugly to me. I know they're all fake. They don't have a fragrance, they never wither and they all look the same. They're all fake. Nothing but paper. Just a field of paper flowers.

I open my eyes and watch the rain outside. The city looks gray and dead, as always. Dark and void of emotion like his eyes.

Right now I'm alone but I know he'll return soon. I don't know what he is doing or where he is going. But I don't complain, I don't ask, I don't talk. Things wouldn't change from that. Nothing will change. He will lead, I will follow.

He's the only thing that I have anymore. I hardly remember the time before Akatsuki but I know that outside this, I have nothing. He's only one who can somehow fill this emptiness inside me. He's cold, emotionless and sometimes he hardly notices me but still he's the only one I can trust and the only one thing that's left for me…

I often see a dream about a bird made of paper that can't leave its cage because the rain outside would kill it. But when the rain stops, the bird leaves its cage and flies away into the endless blue sky. And for a little moment… I'm happy. And bitter. Very bitter. Because I know that in the village of rain, it will never stops raining. *I'm not a whole person with him. But I know that without him I'd fall like a paper bird in rain. Soaked and forgotten. So I block away all my feelings and follow him wherever he goes, walking behind him, watching his back. I will stay with him until the day my life ends.

I close my eyes and listen to the rain outside. The city is dark and silent, as always. Gray and dead like his eyes.

I see a large field of paper flowers, surrounded by paper butterflies and birds in the sky. It's a whole world made of paper. But I know the truth behind that beauty. It's all fake. Nothing but a mask of paper. Created by me. For me. And for him.

* * *

_In my field of paper flowers  
and candied clouds of multiply  
I lye inside myself for hours  
and watch my purple sky fly over me _

_- Evanescence, "Imaginary"_


	6. The Emptiness

**Darkness and Sorrow**

No, I'm NOT dead as you can see. I'm terribly sorry that I haven't updated this for a _long_time! I've been very busy with school and 'Two Of A Kind' -fanfic (Trinity Blood/Naruto crossover that I'm writing with **Readblade**. Go to my profile and check things out! Main characters are Hidan and Abel Nightroad and there is also alot of other Naruto & TB characters, like a couple of other members of Akatsuki and Konoha and Suna shinobi. Read the ad by me! ^^). Reviews make me write the next chapter faster... ~.^ Enjoy!

**The Emptiness**

I know every single one of the puppets I have made. I remember all their names, abilities and hidden weapons. Every single one. They are my servants. My companions. My friends. My family.

But in the end it didn't matter. It didn't matter how many of them I have made. It was always the same. Wood or flesh, they're all empty. Just empty shells with no soul. Just like I am. And just like I've been ever since my parents died.

Why have I loved making puppets? Why did I keep making them even though I knew the truth? And why did I kill people and turned them into puppets?

I'm not sure anymore.

Maybe… Maybe I still hoped that puppets would fill that dark hole inside me. Making them was exciting, challenging and fun, especially making them out of living people. I actually had something in my life. But it never changes the fact that I'm alone. I'm surrounded by masterpieces, I'm a masterpiece myself! But they're still all hollow. I am a hollow.

Grandmother Chiyo just stands there. For some reason she doesn't look neither happy nor angry. Just sad. Strange. Maybe I was a bit unfair to her after all she did for me… Perhaps that was the reason why I didn't dodge her attack even though I saw it coming in the beginning. I knew I could have dodged it… But in that fateful moment it felt so right to doge. And for some reason… It still does. Or perhaps I just wanted to end my miserable life. Pathetic.

The girl is strong and determined. I give her that. I also promised that I'd tell her about Orochimaru should they defeat me. I've made her wait long enough. And I _hate _to make people wait.

I wonder if there's life after death. I hope so. I really hope that death is not as dark and empty as my life was…

* * *

_All he wanted was a toy  
All he needed was a gentle heart  
To lead him through the dark  
When his dreams are running wild_

_Boy and the ghost_

_Fire's not burning  
The lights went out  
The lights went out_

_- 'Boy And The Ghost', Tarja Turunen_


	7. The Hope

**Darkness and Sorrow**

Wow, it's been a _veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery_ long time since I updated this... And I'm really sorry about that. *bow* The whole year has been really busy and on top of that, I was all out of inspiration. Anyway, I really promise to be more active with this and post the next chapter next week. I'm really thankful to those who didn't abandon me and this fanfic.

And remember the poll about Madara's drabble on my profile. I won't write it if you people don't want me to!

* * *

**The Hope**

Looks like I really lost... I can hardly move a muscle, the pain is terrible and I hear only one heartbeat. A really weak one... That kid's attack... It really was as powerful as I thought. I've never been in this bad shape, not even when I fought the First Hokage. And now I've lost to those youngsters... Unbelievable... Hmph. I bet Hidan will laugh his ass off when he finds out, saying that dying out of nowhere is really lame... That loud-mouthed idiot.

Voices... Someone is coming... Who...? Oh, it's Hatake Kakashi. Then he might be able to answer my question, since I'm going to die soon anyway... How they managed to beat me who have more experience than they all together?

Just a crazy old man, huh? Maybe he's right... But it's not surprising that they don't understand. Not that I'd really want them to either. I've seen many generations live and and each of them have done things that those kind can't even imagine. So, about that new generation always surpassing the previous... I just can't agree with that. I've witnessed too many times how people keep repeating same mistakes all over again. I stopped caring long ago. Some things just never change. There is always someone who wants to live forever, even though it's not really possible, and money will always be the only thing that you can rely on.

I gave up hope for other people, money was the only thing that ever believed in. I just lived my life as I pleased and watched other people fooling around for stupid reasons. And in the end I was defeated by a bunch of kids.

So yeah, maybe I am just one old crazy man, with a lonely and hopeless life behind him.

Those kids... So naïve, stupid and full of foolish hope.

I could actually pay a little if I'd get to be that stupid one more time...

* * *

_All I know_  
_Time is a valuable thing_  
_Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings_  
_Watch it count down to the end of the day_  
_The clock ticks life away_

_It's so unreal_  
_Didn't look out below_  
_Watch the time go right out the window_  
_Trying to hold on, but didn't even know_  
_Or wasted it all just to watch you go_

_- "In The End", Linkin Park  
_


	8. The Rain

**Darkness and Sorrow**

The second last chapter, people! This one was really fun to write. I hope that you like it too. Reviews are _really _welcome!

* * *

**The Rain**

It's raining.

_**Isn't that obvious?**_

Kind of refreshing. It feels nice...

_**You really are lightheaded, aren't you.**_

I don't see what's the problem with that. And I know that you like rain too.

_**Of course you know. You're part of me.**_

That's true... We've always been together. I think that we know everything about each other.

_**Unfortunately.**_

You think it's a bad thing?

_**In our case, it can't be helped anyway. So I don't really care.**_

You make everything sound so negative... It's really sad. You're always so serious and gloomy...

_**That's why I am the black and not you. You in the other hand are always too carefree and silly.**_

Hahaha! I guess that's why I'm the white then. But I still think it's a good thing that we have each other. We never were completely alone when everyone else abandoned us.

_**Hm. Not that we really need other people... We've always been on our own.**_

Oh, that's not true! We have a whole group of people with us now.

_**You mean we **_**had. **_**Almost all of them are dead, remember? From the original Akatsuki, all that's left is us, Kisame and Madara. Not that I care.**_

… I liked them all. They were a lot of fun. It's really a shame that they're dead...

_**Are you sad for them?**_

Maybe a little... But death is a natural part of the world and life. One must just accept it.

_**And you call **_**me **_**depressive...**_

Oh, do you fear death?

_**. . . Maybe.**_

Oh. That's funny!

_**Shut up.**_

Yes, yes... … …

… _**What now?**_

I just thought... If we stay with Madara, we don't need to be on our own ever again, right?

_**I think so. We might die sooner, though.**_

If we have people around us, people who don't just hate us because of what we are, I'm fine with anything.

_**You really are simple. Seriously...**_

**

* * *

**

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real_  
_ I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long_  
_ (Erase all the pain till it's gone)_  
_ I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real_  
_ I wanna find something I've wanted all along_  
_ Somewhere I belong_

_- "Somewhere I Belong", Linkin Park_


	9. The Pain

**The Pain**

This is it, the last chapter, finally! It's been too long, and I'm really sorry that it took me so long. Again. I kinda lost the first version of this drabble and then a lot of things happened... Anyway, here it is.

I'd like to thank all those patient people who waited for some chapters almost a year. I'd also like to thank all those who left a review (and the ones who will leave one :P). Now, after Itachi, Hidan, Kisame, Deidara, Konan, Sasori, Kakuzu and Zetsu, it's finally Pein's, Nagato's, turn. (In the end, I didn't write Madara's drabble. This is because even after all these months, I never got an inspiration about him. Sorry, Madara fans.) He really did have a change of heart before his death and I really hope that I caught that piece of his mind into this. I hope you'll like it!

* * *

All those years... All that sorrow. All that hatred. All that pain...

For so long, they've been my guides, peace through war my goal. Using all my power, skills, determination and dark memories to motivate me, I made it to the top. Becomign stronger than anyone and pushing my limits, I made myself a god since anyone less would never reach the ultimate peace. I lived for my dream, Yahiko's dream. It was my obsession, my belief, my purpose. I wiped out everyone and everything that stood in my way, anyone and anything that came between me and my destination. Nothing else mattered except the memento of my parents and my best friend, and the great pain from losing them.

And now in a few fleeting minutes, with just a couple of determined words, this young boy has made me believe once more. He actually made me put my faith in him and remember things beyond my agony, things that I had forgotten so long ago... The one thing that Yahiko believed in. The thing that Jiraya-sensei believed in. And what I used to believe in.

Hope...Yes, it's been so long since I felt that in this world full of darkness and sorrow there would still be idiots like him who can make everyone believe.

The whole Akatsuki was formed of people who were in great pain, searching for a purpose and reaching for it. Maybe we all were victims of pain and with the choices we made, became the cause of it as well. And we definitely aren't the only ones.

None of us never believed in peace, not like Uzumaki Naruto. There's just something about him... Just maybe... He has a power to change pain into hope. It's about time for me to believe in someone again.

Like Yahiko, Konan and Jiraya-sensei believed in me, I will believe in Uzumaki Naruto.

* * *

_Maybe one day in a place without time, without space _  
_ I can look back and see that I am finally whole _  
_ Dying to undo the moment when all fell apart _  
_ Trying to fade out what's real it's not for a life_

- Sturm Und Drang, "_Indian_"

* * *

P.S. The song, that kinda inspired me to write these drabbles, is from a band named _Sturm Und Drang_, a song named _Indian_. Go and check out the song and especially the rest of it's lyrics from YouTube!


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